I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Randomize
