Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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