We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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