I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
