don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
