? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
