did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
