Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
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