so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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