I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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