can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
