I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
