you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize