I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
