yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
