So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
