don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
