Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We are two peas in an std pod
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Randomize