Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
