stop calling my apartment porn island.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
