i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize