Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
