Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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