I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
