I'm gonna have a badass scar
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
