I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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