hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
