These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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