Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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