then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
oh god was she eating orange peels again
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
