at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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