i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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