Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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