3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
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