I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
