its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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