i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
