every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize