I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
