omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Damn victory sex feels great
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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