I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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