Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
