I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
