Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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