i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
