There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Randomize
