You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
