Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
