similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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