And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
