Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
