And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
