He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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