Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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