She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
