I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
just tell him i said nine months
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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