Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
is wine microwaveable?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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