They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
