no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You are a genius and a whore.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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