i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
