shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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