Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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