Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
This is my life. Enjoy the view
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
