Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
