I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
