I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize