Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
