One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
