this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
