My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
