the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
