her vagine was all disorganized.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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