We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize