"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
