My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
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