and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
